Thursday, April 28, 2011
Alleluia! He is risen!

We had a lovely Easter. As always, Easter Sunday was gloriously sunny. We had brunch at home before heading over to Matthew’s Mom’s house where Hannah enjoyed her first ever Easter egg hunt. Her cousins were so cute trying to help her find her eggs, but once she found one egg she had little interest in finding the others. She just walked around for the next hour or so with her one egg.

Despite the joy surrounding Easter, I’m feeling a little sad that Lent is over. The ending of Lent is always bittersweet for me. Is that weird? I keep reminding myself that just because Lent is over does not mean I have to suddenly stop practicing my Lenten resolutions. Duh. The whole point of Lent is to make permanent life changes, not temporary 40 day ones. So I intend to keep up several of my Lenten practices such as a daily Rosary and attending Mass once during the week. Many people do these things already so really it should not be that hard.

This Lent and Easter also helped me to come to an understanding regarding my current station in life. For a while, part of me has still expected myself to carry on in my spiritual practices as if I was still single (and not a bajillion months pregnant). While I do think it is important to have high expectations for myself, I don’t think it’s helpful to be unrealistic in those expectations. Attending daily Mass or making it through the entire Good Friday service is not entirely feasible at this point in my life. Just like every season of life, there will come a time when I am able to participate in such a way, but currently I am not and I am learning to be okay with that. God understands and acknowledges the difficulties and demands of having little children, even if I sometimes do not.

At Mass recently, I nearly broke down. Hannah was being difficult and I was feeling very pregnant (i.e. huge) and my back was really hurting and with tears in my eyes and perhaps a tad of self-pity told God, “this is hard. I don’t know if I can do this.”

Yet, it was then that I realized, isn’t that the point? The crucifixion was hard; the way of the Cross is hard. It’s not supposed to be easy. We don’t get to relish in the joy of Easter without first enduring the suffering of Good Friday. And in that moment, I was so glad to be Catholic. The joy of Easter is so much more meaningful when you understand the pain and suffering of the days preceding it. How can you truly enjoy feasting if you have not first fasted? How can you see the true miracle of the Resurrection if you have not first experienced death? Life is not all feasting and glory. And because God made that evident in the Passion and Death of Christ, we should not expect ourselves to be exempt from such suffering.

So am slowly learning to kiss the tiny crosses that Christ sends my way, for His burden is easy and his yoke is light and if he wishes me to carry such crosses, then I must learn to do so joyously.

1 comment:

  1. wonderful post!

    Here is a poem that my sister found that you may like:

    Splinters from the Cross

    little headaches, little heartaches
    little griefs of everyday
    little trials and vexations
    how they throng around our way!

    one great cross
    immense and heavy
    so it seems to our weak will
    might be borne with resignation,
    but these many small ones kill

    yet all life is formed of small things
    little leaves make up the trees
    many tiny drops of water
    blending make the mighty seas

    let us not then by impatience
    mar the beauty of the whole
    but for love of Jesus bear all
    in the silence of our soul

    asking Him for grace sufficient
    to sustain us through each loss
    and to treasure
    each small offering
    as a splinter
    from His cross


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